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Why are people so clueless?????
Nov. 7th, 2002 11:44 amWhy is it people are so clueless? They live in thier own little worlds, and don't see people outside of it. That's how I feel. Everyone is in thier little happy world and seem to have left me standing in the cold.
Why do so called friends torture people? I feel so tortured and no one notices! I'm left in the dust and no one cares to take my hand and help me stand up. Inside school everyone acts like they are my best friend, that if I needed them, they would be there. But that's not true when the last bell rings, it's like I'm not there. I know things go on outside school, I always hear about them. But am I invited to the fun? of course not. But what hurts the most is when the plans are made in front of me and its like I'm not even there. It happens almost everyday by people I thought I could trust. Guess not.
Now if your reaction to this is "Why doesn't Amy plan soemthing herself?" then you really need a life. If I go somewhere, it's because I planned it. But why should I plan things when I know people are planning things without me. They are obviously trying to tell me that they don't want to be with me. Fine, then I don't want to be with you. Someone else plan the god damn sleepovers, I'm done.
I tried to think of reasons why this has happened. Sarah brought up my car. That has nothing to do with it. Why should that matter? So what, I can drive myself instead of my parents. That really doesn't change things. Then I thought of work. If I'm told of plans, then I can switch for different shifts or if *gasps* your plans have to wait an hour to include a friend whose a work, oh no! At least you can include everyone and not ahve anyone feel excluded. IT's a sucky feeling, I know very well thanks to you all. And thier are days of the week that I don't work, but do people care, of course not. The last reason scares me the most. IF this is because of Eric, then I could just cry right now. In fact, he's the only person I feel like even cares about right now. And if I have to choose between a bunch of petty friends and someone who really does like me, Then I'll choose Eric. God I miss Joey, it seems like my only friends either go to Fairfax or live in Mass.
Yes I was mad at Linnea, but not any more. She's the ONLY person I thought I could talk to about this, but something happened. I won't get into that, because it doesn't matter any more and I have talked to her. Now I'm mad at all my other so called friends. This includes you all. Someone wrote in thier live journal that they thought this didn't concern them. It does. You all have been so blind. I have been depressed for almost two whole about this. No one noticed. I even tried dropping hints. I was beginning to think that maybe I would have to do something drastic, like Matt, to get people to actually notice, but I'm above that. I figured, if they weren't friends enough to notice when I was unhappy, then why should I care. Why? Give me one reason why I should care? I try so hard to keep my friends from being down, that it hurts when no one, NO ONE, notices my own pain.
SO here's the question? Are you my friend or have you forgotton me? I need to know. Now. I need to know so I can find some real friends. You know what AJ told me? She would have called me to hang out lots of times, but she thought I was doing things with my so called friends. Boy was she wrong and I told her so, especailly after I came into work last Friday crying, crying over stupid friends. I'm glad I had a true friend there at least who actually cared. One of my few. But I'm not going to cry any more. I just want to know who are my friends and who aren't. Who has forgotten me and who hasn't.
Don't talk about this with me, don't tell me your sorry. If you are my friends, then in God's name please start acting like it! That will be an apology enough for me. And maybe, just maybe, step out of your little world and notice the people around you. I can only think that if someone else were in my postion, maybe even one of you, then your drastic measures would have been fatal. This is as drastic as I get. SO what will your choice be? My friend or not?
--Amy
Why do so called friends torture people? I feel so tortured and no one notices! I'm left in the dust and no one cares to take my hand and help me stand up. Inside school everyone acts like they are my best friend, that if I needed them, they would be there. But that's not true when the last bell rings, it's like I'm not there. I know things go on outside school, I always hear about them. But am I invited to the fun? of course not. But what hurts the most is when the plans are made in front of me and its like I'm not even there. It happens almost everyday by people I thought I could trust. Guess not.
Now if your reaction to this is "Why doesn't Amy plan soemthing herself?" then you really need a life. If I go somewhere, it's because I planned it. But why should I plan things when I know people are planning things without me. They are obviously trying to tell me that they don't want to be with me. Fine, then I don't want to be with you. Someone else plan the god damn sleepovers, I'm done.
I tried to think of reasons why this has happened. Sarah brought up my car. That has nothing to do with it. Why should that matter? So what, I can drive myself instead of my parents. That really doesn't change things. Then I thought of work. If I'm told of plans, then I can switch for different shifts or if *gasps* your plans have to wait an hour to include a friend whose a work, oh no! At least you can include everyone and not ahve anyone feel excluded. IT's a sucky feeling, I know very well thanks to you all. And thier are days of the week that I don't work, but do people care, of course not. The last reason scares me the most. IF this is because of Eric, then I could just cry right now. In fact, he's the only person I feel like even cares about right now. And if I have to choose between a bunch of petty friends and someone who really does like me, Then I'll choose Eric. God I miss Joey, it seems like my only friends either go to Fairfax or live in Mass.
Yes I was mad at Linnea, but not any more. She's the ONLY person I thought I could talk to about this, but something happened. I won't get into that, because it doesn't matter any more and I have talked to her. Now I'm mad at all my other so called friends. This includes you all. Someone wrote in thier live journal that they thought this didn't concern them. It does. You all have been so blind. I have been depressed for almost two whole about this. No one noticed. I even tried dropping hints. I was beginning to think that maybe I would have to do something drastic, like Matt, to get people to actually notice, but I'm above that. I figured, if they weren't friends enough to notice when I was unhappy, then why should I care. Why? Give me one reason why I should care? I try so hard to keep my friends from being down, that it hurts when no one, NO ONE, notices my own pain.
SO here's the question? Are you my friend or have you forgotton me? I need to know. Now. I need to know so I can find some real friends. You know what AJ told me? She would have called me to hang out lots of times, but she thought I was doing things with my so called friends. Boy was she wrong and I told her so, especailly after I came into work last Friday crying, crying over stupid friends. I'm glad I had a true friend there at least who actually cared. One of my few. But I'm not going to cry any more. I just want to know who are my friends and who aren't. Who has forgotten me and who hasn't.
Don't talk about this with me, don't tell me your sorry. If you are my friends, then in God's name please start acting like it! That will be an apology enough for me. And maybe, just maybe, step out of your little world and notice the people around you. I can only think that if someone else were in my postion, maybe even one of you, then your drastic measures would have been fatal. This is as drastic as I get. SO what will your choice be? My friend or not?
--Amy
