I feel like shit...
Jan. 14th, 2003 08:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
littlesilveredI'm so depressed right now. I feel like everything I love I can't do.
I put off riding so I can go to the Forensics competition and now I find out, Ms Dolye didn't enter me, after I came and told her to please enter me in Storytelling because I couldn't come to the meeting. I think I should just quit altogether. Either I can't go or when I can, they forget to enter me. And when I do go, I suck! They need a better VP, because I suck...
And because of my foot, I can't ride for a good two weeks (there goes the Dressage program I so carefully worked out for the song and Knight and...fuck!)and if they end up taking my nail, it might be a month before I ride again. Great, I'm under so much stress and the only thing I do that relieves it, I can't do.
And ya know, I was talking to Joey over IM the otehr day, about him and his girlfriend and I started to really miss Erik. I haven't seen him in ages and the last time I did, well, let's just say it didn't go well. I didn't realize he had been looking for me and I kind of blew him off. I feel really bad now but because I was sick, i didn't see him on Sunday (turns out he was sick too) I want to see him so badly, I wish we went to the same schools sometimes. Yet something else that seems to be to good for me...I really feel like I don't deserve him sometimes. Even his friendship...God, i want to see him so bad.
And tomorrow, no one will notice anything because I will be my ever happy self until I come home and cry and be depressed. As always. Wonderful...God, I want to go away...
I put off riding so I can go to the Forensics competition and now I find out, Ms Dolye didn't enter me, after I came and told her to please enter me in Storytelling because I couldn't come to the meeting. I think I should just quit altogether. Either I can't go or when I can, they forget to enter me. And when I do go, I suck! They need a better VP, because I suck...
And because of my foot, I can't ride for a good two weeks (there goes the Dressage program I so carefully worked out for the song and Knight and...fuck!)and if they end up taking my nail, it might be a month before I ride again. Great, I'm under so much stress and the only thing I do that relieves it, I can't do.
And ya know, I was talking to Joey over IM the otehr day, about him and his girlfriend and I started to really miss Erik. I haven't seen him in ages and the last time I did, well, let's just say it didn't go well. I didn't realize he had been looking for me and I kind of blew him off. I feel really bad now but because I was sick, i didn't see him on Sunday (turns out he was sick too) I want to see him so badly, I wish we went to the same schools sometimes. Yet something else that seems to be to good for me...I really feel like I don't deserve him sometimes. Even his friendship...God, i want to see him so bad.
And tomorrow, no one will notice anything because I will be my ever happy self until I come home and cry and be depressed. As always. Wonderful...God, I want to go away...
