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Apr. 6th, 2010 11:14 pmBare with me, I'm alittle drunk.
So, the Biggest Loser tonight caused lots of phone calls to mom since the contestants who are my age had alot of breakthroughs that I could relate too. And during one of them, Mom shared a revelation she had.
It's been 19 years since my grandmother, her mother, died. I have been carrying the burden of her death for so long, I couldn't believe it. I was 6 when she died but I always mentally though I was older because of everything I've had to carry since she died. I have...so many issues that started with the death of my Oma that it literally broke my brain.
It's been 8 years since my grandfather, her father, died. I know I was in high school when it happened, but again, it feels like I've been carrying the burden of his death for so long that it still kind feels like it happened yesterday. I'm finally remembering good things about my Apo to counteract all the bad that happened in between when Oma died and he did, and the mental trauma that ensued afterwards. I know it's a sign of my progress that I can remember my grandfather fondly, but it's still hard.
Tonight has been...odd. Thank god I'm drunk or I'm not sure I could have handled it.
So, the Biggest Loser tonight caused lots of phone calls to mom since the contestants who are my age had alot of breakthroughs that I could relate too. And during one of them, Mom shared a revelation she had.
It's been 19 years since my grandmother, her mother, died. I have been carrying the burden of her death for so long, I couldn't believe it. I was 6 when she died but I always mentally though I was older because of everything I've had to carry since she died. I have...so many issues that started with the death of my Oma that it literally broke my brain.
It's been 8 years since my grandfather, her father, died. I know I was in high school when it happened, but again, it feels like I've been carrying the burden of his death for so long that it still kind feels like it happened yesterday. I'm finally remembering good things about my Apo to counteract all the bad that happened in between when Oma died and he did, and the mental trauma that ensued afterwards. I know it's a sign of my progress that I can remember my grandfather fondly, but it's still hard.
Tonight has been...odd. Thank god I'm drunk or I'm not sure I could have handled it.
