littlesilvered: (Xander drinking)
[personal profile] littlesilvered
Ugh. I just came back upstairs from watching the awesome season premiere of Royal Pains and after checking my flist, I'm suddenly depressed.

Something I wonder why I still follow people from back home. Even if I've long separated myself from some of those stills gets me every time to know that they are still hanging out together and I'm done here trying to make a new life alone. Am I being adventurous having a new life somewhere else or am I purposefully confining myself to solitude, away from familiar places?

I think about this a lot. Would my life have been easier if I'd stayed in Virginia? Is Florida where I really belong? And no, it really doesn't help that my one true friend down here is moving back to New Jersey at the end of the month. It's a really good thing for her and Mike, but still. I know I need to find people to make friends with but I just don't know where. I don't think I'm being picky either. I need a group that is more like me, I just don't know here to find it. Grooming school and work are a different type of person then I am, not as pop culture savy and more earthy, and the kids at school are all years my junior, enough to make it awkward. It just adds to the feeling I still have of liking Florida...but am just still not sure I belong here.

Of course, I wonder why I still follow them but I won't stop. I can't give up that little piece of home, even if it's not related to my proudest of moments.
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December 2012

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